I’m an old person.

I’ve been noticing that I’ve been getting a lot more “madame” than “mademoiselle” this time around. I’m not sure what has happened in the past two years to make me look so old, but it was particularly troublesome today when I was babysitting Axel in the the Parc des Batignolles, which is an area in my neighborhood that would have been used for the Olympics in 2012 if Paris had beaten London for the spot, but was turned into a series of playgrounds and skateparks when they lost. Axel at one point sped off on his bike past some boys who were about 12 or 13, and when they saw me running after him said “Attends ta maman!” (“Wait for your mommy!”)

What was worse was when Axel was playing on the half pipe with a girl who looked to be about 10 or 11, and some other teenaged kid in skateboard gear asked if they were my kids. It’s bad enough that someone would think I was Axel’s mother…he’s 4, so while me being his mother is both unlikely and impractical, it’s at least biologically possible. But do I really look old enough to have mothered a 10 or 11 year old? At 21?

What has happened to me in the past two years? Do I wear mom jeans? Is my haircut too matronly? Inquiring minds want to know.